“He’s not that into you because you’re not that into yourself” A fierce fella teaches the ladies a lesson in self confidence

Saturday evening’s ‘Girls Night Out’ is a tradition my friends and I try as much as possible to uphold. We hang out, bitch about work, our family, and of course, the boys. But there was something different about this particular Saturday. I wondered, as the four of us sat down at a round table in the dimly lit bar and enjoying our usual gossip sessions with a glass of our favorite drink in hand, why the mood seems a tad bit solemn today. Perhaps because Linda has just shared this particular story with us.

Linda is one of those girls that is just a die-hard romantic. She believes in the ideal of true love so much it’s almost laughable. Her perpetually dreamy eyes sometimes made us wish we could just snap her out of it. She’s been lucky to be in a few relationship but something always goes wrong along the way and she’s back in the market searching for Mr. Right. She always wondered what it is she is doing wrong until she met that Mr. with the ‘Right’ advice. Here is what he said  “he’s not that into you because you are not into yourself”.

Denrele is a very close friend and colleague of Linda’s. Happily ‘in a relationship’ and has nothing but good things to say about his partner, he shares the secret to  finding the right person with Linda, who listens intently as she sits across him in his spacious office one lovely Tuesday afternoon.

Self confidence, self doubt and self esteem are issues that plague the modern woman. Self esteem and lack thereof comes from within and it is something that can never be hidden. It is in the way she talks, stands, sits, interact with others, etc. In fact, a lady’s self confidence is completely revealed in her whole persona. While there are a lot of reasons she can be a victim of low self confidence, a woman’s self-esteem is still often times modeled by a man’s opinion of her and not what she thinks of herself. Most women are motivated to stay fit, enhance their skills (bedroom or otherwise) and primp up just to garner the approval of a man.

Sometimes, the woman is the one who chips off bits and pieces of herself to fit a particular ideal she feels will attract more men. She avoids talking about her favorite things simply because she fears that the her date might find her unappealing. In the end, she is left with a bland, way-too -adjusted and unauthentic version of herself, And she wonders why she is still single.

Confident men prefer women who are confident enough to know who they are, know what they want, chase after their desires, and strong enough to know that they are women who do not have to act or think like a man to get the man. It is a man who lacks self-confidence that would approach an insecure woman just to build his own self-esteem. Yes, real men prefer women with self-confidence and self-esteem so as to build a powerful and productive relationship. 

So ladies, there you have it. While building up self-confidence isn’t a day’s job, take one step forward today, believe in who you are and what you have to offer and not only will high self-esteem serve you well in your personal life, it will also give you that great ego boost that will help you achieve all that you ever dreamed of.

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