It’s a Threeway Street: The Beginner’s Guide to Having a Threesome

I don’t think I need to give you guys a definition of threesomes, I mean, if you don’t know what it is, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog. Let just skip to the real deal, shall we?

Threesomes, Three-way, menage-a-trois, whatever word you choose, the concept is a very popular one. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? Sex between two people can be so freakin’ great and you gotta wonder how it would feel including a 3rd person. While having a three-way can elicit different responses from people, it is no doubt an exciting prospect. First though, you need to ask yourself if it is a good idea for you.

 

Should you, or shouldn’t you?

 

 

Ok, here’s where it gets a little tricky. I think I can safely say that almost all heterosexual guys find the prospect of two women in bed extremely arousing and exciting. Although, it is important to know that the reality can sometimes be different from the fantasy. Some girls also wouldn’t mind getting it on with another girl, plus their man, but they are not likely to be obsessed about the idea as much as the guys would. So if you are in a couple and thinking about including one more party to your sex life, then there are a few things you should think about. (I don’t think singles have anything to worry about. If you wanna have a 3some, just get drunk and have one ;) )

First, the conversation comes up. Basically, you will need to know how to maneuver the conversation, study your partner’s response to decide if this would be a good idea for you both. As a girl, Inevitably your guy will want to know if you’d be willing. If you’re unsure (which many girls are) say so. Don’t beat around the bush (so to speak), simply tell him flat out exactly how you feel. Say, “yes I would like to try something like that.” “I might, but am not ready.” “I would never want to.” Whatever the case may be. If you are unsure about having a 3way, then you must revisit the conversation again. There is a reason why a lot of relationship end as soon as the couple invites someone else into the bedroom. Mostly, it has to do with communication. So if you love your partner, but want a little extra, you have to talk about it, again and again.

You have to decide who the third person is gonna be (male or female). Most couple I know that has had a 3some usually choose to add one more girl to the mix. It is less awkward, and it fulfill both gender’s fantasy. If you would rather have a guy join the party, that’s your call though.

Having a 3some takes a lot of courage. You also have to adjust your psyche, sort of. I mean, someone else is gonna be touching your partner in bed, so you need to be sure you are okay with that. Also, be sure you are doing it for yourself and not because you are being pressured.

This is supposed to be an experience you both enjoy, not just something you do for him.  Even if you are a heterosexual female you need to be comfortable enough, if you’re going to do this, that you enjoy this and gain some experience, excitement or something else positive out of it.  At the very least it’s a new experience and who better to learn about pleasure from than another female? Right?

So, now that you know you guys wouldn’t mind getting it on with a 3rd person, it’s time to decide who to go for.

 

Who’s The Third Wheel?

 

You and your significant other would have to choose someone to party with. You have two choices- go with the someone you know, or pick up a stranger. There are advantages and disadvantages of each. Being with someone you know can make you feel more at ease, but there is also the part about what happens the morning after, there will certainly be an awkwardness in the air. If you go with a stranger, he/she would probably just get up and leave after, leaving you guys to savor in the aftermath. Whatever the case, you have to choose what works best for you. After you decide who you want, it is extremely important he/she gets tested for STDs before you invite them in.

Establishing The Rules:

Before you actually get down to it, you both need to establish rules about how it will go. As a guy, you need to respect the fact that she might get a little jealous when you start touching someone else, so you need to be sensitive to that. You must respect her limits. Try your best not to shut either woman (if u opt for a female partner) out and always give more attention to the woman with whom you have a relationship — this is an extremely important threesome rule.

You may end up feeling jealous if you’re not the center of attention. Just keep in mind that the object of the game is to share sex between three people.

 

Doing The Deed:
To avoid awkwardness during the act itself, there are some things you should keep in mind. Pleasure in one-on-one sex goes back and forth, but in a threesome it’s more of a cycle that moves from person to person. This might be a little easier for the girl because all she has to do is go with her needs. She decides whom she wants to please her at the moment and goes to them. For guys though, it can be a little overwhelming, having two girls in bed (it’s never as easy in real life as it is in your fantasy, guys). So, keep these in mind as a guy;
1. Whatever pleasure you get in a threesome is a treat, so instead of expecting anything in particular (like getting oral sex from both women at once), enjoy everything that comes your way.
2. Keep yourself busy. When you find that both women are busy pleasuring each other and you have nothing to do, keep yourself busy. Take matters into your own hands and find something to do. Caress the breasts, thighs or vagina(s) of one or both women, kiss their backs or necks, or give oral sex to one if she’s in a position that allows you to (believe us, this will redirect attention toward you in a hurry). If you decide instead just to pleasure yourself for a little while, don’t feel bad; the action will come back to you soon enough.

3. Be careful with penetration. Penetration automatically forms a serious bond between you and one woman, leaving the other out. For this reason, penetrate only when you’re sure both women are comfortable with it. Your natural inclination will be to pay close attention to the woman you’re having sex with, but you mustn’t focus on her entirely. This is about the three of you, so keep that ideal close at hand. Kiss and touch the other woman, look her in the eye, and talk to her if the mood is appropriate.

4. Afterward, lie around with both women in post-coital bliss. However, remember it’s not a relationship. This means that the third person likely shouldn’t sleep over. It may seem like a great idea in the moment, but prolonging a threesome is a recipe for total disaster.
After a threesome, it is likely that the woman can start to feel jealous, or insecure. She might wonder if you enjoyed the other woman more, so as a guy, you should reassure to your partner. You’ve had fun, but it’s only pleasure and experimentation. Tell her that she turns you on, that seeing her being pleasured by another woman aroused you, and that while you enjoyed yourself, there’s no one for you but her. She’s your primary concern, so if you let her know it, you may well have more threesome adventures in the future.
Threesomes are a great way to spice up your sex life, but I must emphasize that it should be something you BOTH want. If one person is unsure, having a 3way can end up ruining your relationship. You should also know that not everyone that had a 3some actually enjoyed the experience, it always seems better in your head, so try to be realistic about your expectations. Finally, Keep in mind, jealousy may pop up when you least expect it. It’s only natural. When you’re used to having sex with only one person at a time, it can get logistically confusing to divide your attentions equally amongst two people. You should all agree to make your best efforts to ensure that no one feels neglected.
Have fun and Play Safe!

One comment on “It’s a Threeway Street: The Beginner’s Guide to Having a Threesome

  1. Overall, I feel you provide some good basic advice. The one statement I feel is stretched regards most guys wanting two women. Reality is most threesomes are not fmf. This is due to women investing in the relationship and wanting to protect it. For a fmf to work, it means the second woman, in theory, needs to be a bit more submissive and not be in competition with the other woman. Essentially it means the invited woman needs to understand her role.

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