Here are 3 things you need for a healthy relationship with your partner:
Healthy Relationship Requirement #1: A Strong, Healthy Body
I’m talking about muscle strength. You have got to do your kegels–several hundred a day. Walking around in high heels is also good for your pelvic floor–a group of muscles that holds up your reproductive organs. Having muscle strength there can do wonders for sexual response.
Healthy Relationship Requirement #2: A Creative Spirit
Look, there are really only two things men want in a relationship: a partner who’s going to be engaged with them sexually, and to be doing a good job in the relationship. When we get stuck in the hamster wheel of our lives, we focus more on what he’s doing wrong than what he’s doing right. Go on a surrender date, where you let him make every decision–what you’re going to wear, where you go, how you get there, what you’re going to order. What you’ll find is that he’s much more capable of stepping up than you’ve given him credit for.
Remember, you can have all the power you want, but you don’t have to have all the control. The creative spirit is about not only exercising that fantasy muscle but also making room for it in your life.
Healthy Relationship Requirement #3: An Open Heart
The key is being brave enough to open your heart despite the stories you’re telling yourself. Think about that special someone, and think about something they say or do that makes your heart close. And now, without having any thought, imagine your heart opening like a flower. Imagine your chest becoming expansive and filling with light. I do that in my own relationships 20 times a day at least. You have a choice every moment of the day to open yourself up. When you do that, it opens the channels of love, joy and, especially, sexual energy.
Here are the three things you can start doing today to maintain passion in your relationship:
1. Give your partner three genuine expressions of appreciation a day. It can be appreciation for things they always do for you or for something special, but make sure you say it out loud–and you mean it.
2. Make an appointment two times a week to spend 15 minutes–with no technology other than music-kissing and cuddling and talking, with sex completely off the table.
3. Make a commitment to having sex at least once a week. Twice a week is better. Don’t go more than two weeks without it, because it’s is the fuel in your long-term relationship. When sex is working with a couple, it’s a small part of a larger relationship. This is really about letting go of the fear and opening yourself to your partner–and releasing the sexual goddess inside you.