The Bad Girl Diaries: The Worst 15 Minutes Of My Sex Life

blcsex-TFL

 

Oh lover, don’t you dare slow down. Go longer, you can last more rounds

Push harder, you’re  almost there now

So go lover, make my mother proud

And when were done, I don’t wanna feel my legs

And when were done, I just wanna feel your head so lower me baby’

Kelly Rowland’s ‘Motivation‘ was playing in the background as he made me come the FIFTH time!!! One , two, three , four , FIVE big orgasms in one night!! ONE NIGHT!!!

This guy is gifted! If only he wasn’t such an asswipe! He would have been a keeper. He’s the best lover I have ever had.

He’s not the finest guy……(infact, he’s not fine at all….and he’s not ugly either). He’s not buff…..he’s actually quite chubby….(I hear he used to be fat but he’s lost some weight)

He’s no taller than 5 ft 8inches

His dick isn’t that big…..It’s quite thick though…..not too long…

BUT! He knows what to do do!! OMG!! He’s probably gotten loads of experience due to his line of work (He’s an entertainer). He made me come with his fingers!! No one has made me come with just their fingers! NO ONE!

His tongue should win an award! He knows how to flick it against my nipples and clit…..he knows when to lick fast or when to lick so slowly that I’m begging for mercy……Did I mention that he’s made me realize that I can squirt?

AND He gives great massages! I’m a sucker for massages….infact, that’s how he got me. He was giving me a massage, I was lying on my stomach naked and his wonderful hands were working their magic, when I felt him spread my legs and he proceeded to give me the first of many many orgasms!

I guess you can’t have it all, Mr Showbiz (The nickname I gave him) is an excellent lover but a selfish mothaf*cker…..He is completely devoted to making sure I have all the fun in bed, after that? I’m on my own.

On the other hand, There’s ‘Mr Sweetheart’.

He’s 6ft 4inches, with a very handsome face and a great body

He has a great personality as well.

Everyone likes this guy……hes just ‘Great’

Mr Sweetheart and I met over a year ago, he took his time to get to know me…

We went to see several movies and had several lunches and dinners

I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship and he said he understood

We became really really cool….

One night, one thing led to another

and I discovered something about Mr Sweetheart…….

He had no idea what he was doing in bed and the worst part? He thought he knew!

He chewed on my nipples like he was chewing gum and that sh*t was painful!!!!!

He ‘gnawed’ on my neck like it was hard ‘ponmo’…..He didn’t know how to kiss either!

The foreplay was disastrous! I was already thinking of how to stop the whole process when he flipped me over, strapped on a condom and proceeded to ‘pound’ me. It was the worst 15-18mins of my sex life!! He had no rhythm, he was just humping away furiously! I went totally dry! D-R-Y!!! It was THAT unsexy! When he was done, I pretended to fall asleep. In the morning, he was like “Wow, I made you so tired, you fell asleep immediately”.

I just smiled. I made sure we NEVER got busy again…He’s such a great guy, I cannot tell him he sucks!!

Life isn’t fair! I guess the saying ‘You can’t have it all’ is so true…..Mr Average d*ck, average looks gets an A+ in bed but is a self absorbed goat while Mr Fine boy gentleman with his well endowed d*ck gets an F9! in bed but hes the most selfless person outside of the bedroom! *sigh*

Can’t I have them both?

 

Monalisa Akerele

3 comments on “The Bad Girl Diaries: The Worst 15 Minutes Of My Sex Life

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