Back Door Basics: Anal Sex 101 (Lesson 2)


anlllThings To Try With Anal Sex

Whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned pro at anal play, using sex toys and other aids can greatly enhance your experience. Try the products listed below and see which toys are best suited to you and your partner. You might discover different ways to play or products that can add an extra dimension to your enjoyment.

Anal Lubes. Lubricants are essential when engaging in anal play and the more the better. Our assholes are tight and dry, and the body has no means of producing natural lubrication back there, so make sure to stock up with lots of lubricant, the special sort made for anal play. Anal lubricant comes in many forms: sprays, gels, creams and even butter, as well as the standard lotions. Lubes can be scented and flavored, so oral anal play is a bit tastier for the giver. Some lubes also have desensitizing agents to slightly numb the asshole which, despite making insertion easier, can also mean the receiver isn’t totally aware of how their asshole is feeling. Beginners might want to avoid these so they can stay in total control of their own comfort.

Read Also: Back Door Basics: Anal Sex 101 (Lesson 1)

The warming and cooling lubes add great sensations to anal play. Warming lubes can make assholes extra-sensitive, and really get you both going. Feeling your ass heat up as your lover plays around with you is just incredible and super sexy. It also helps relax you, to make your asshole more receptive to penetration. To make your playtime last even longer, try a cooling lube, which spreads a relaxing coolness all around your body as you both play. It can help keep your asshole stimulated and relaxed, and the more lube you use, in whatever form, the easier it will be to try different things.

Anal Dildos. Great for both solo and couple’s play, anal dildos are specifically designed for ass play. You should not use standard dildos when indulging in anal sex, because there is a danger you could lose the toy inside your lover. Our anuses are powerful vacuums that can suck in objects, so always ensure that if you’re using toys back there, they’re specialist anal toys, which have a base to prevent them from getting lost. For beginners, try a dildo that has graduated balls, so you can slowly build up your tolerance. The more you get used to it, the more you will be able to insert (by yourself, or have them inserted by a lover). Later you may graduate to the more standard dildos.

Double Dongs. Get double the pleasure by using a double dong. It’s a length of flexible jelly or plastic, usually either 12in or 16in long, with a helmet at either end. There are so many different ways to use one and it’s an ideal sex toy for both solo play and couple’s play, whether you’re same sex or hetero. For women enjoying some ‘me time,’ you can insert one end of the dong into your vagina and the other into your ass, and get rocking. Couples of both sexes can get off on double dong-play, with one end in her vagina, the other in his ass, or both ends in your asses and/or vaginas. It can be tricky to use double dongs together, but you just need to practice—a lot. Once you get the hang of it, then mutual pleasure is pretty much guaranteed!

Anal Vibrators. Fantastic for really cranking up the sexual teasing and tension, vibrators are an essential component of any sex toy box. While standard vibes will usually do the trick on your ass, there are some great specialist anal vibes on the market now, so it’s worth checking them out. Because our assholes have a shape and feel all their own, it makes sense to use a vibe that’s designed to get right in there and stimulate you to the max. Beginners’ anal vibes are great for getting you used to the feeling of penetration while exciting you at the same time, and make great solo sex toys to build your confidence before you start experimenting with your lover. For sheer indulgence, try a triple vibrator, which will get you off three different ways—vaginally, clitorally and anally. It’s the ultimate solo sex toy, but don’t be afraid to let your lover administer the pleasure, if you want them to get involved. Obviously, women will get the most benefit from a triple vibe, but guys can play around with it, too. By using the dildo part to insert into their ass, they can then use the other parts to simultaneously stimulate their taint and/or balls.

Strap-ons. Just brilliant for roleplay and advanced experimentation, strap-ons can be used by couples of any orientation to enhance anal play. They’re a favorite with gay girls, who like to indulge in both vaginal and anal sex with their lovers. But there are plenty of straight guys out there who love a bit of anal play, so a strap-on is the ideal way for his lover to satisfy his urges. It might feel strange for a girl to put on a cock to ass-fuck their guy, but if you’re open-minded and keen to see just how much pleasure he gets from it, you’ll soon be more than a willing participant. Many women also feel quite empowered by using a strap-on, and it can help them empathize with men when it comes to understanding the traditional gender sex roles. In addition, strap-ons can help men with erection issues. There are hollow strap-on versions available, which fit over a man’s penis, thus providing an instant erection.’ Guys who don’t think they’re ‘big enough,’ often use larger-size strap-ons to give themselves bigger cocks.

Vibrating strap-ons. These are a must-have for experienced anal lovers. Once you’re used to being penetrated, the added vibe will really give your ass a good workout. But for the ultimate strap-on climax, go dual, and use a double dong strap-on. The woman straps it around her waist, with one end inserted into her vagina, then uses the other end on her lover’s ass. Both of you get fucked at the same time, with multiple speeds to control your excitement levels. With a bit of practice and control, you’ll get to achieve what most couples dream of—simultaneous orgasms.

Prostate Massagers. One of the best ways for men to get used to having their asses penetrated is with a prostate massager. They are easy-to-use, low-impact stimulators that can be used alone, or with a partner. You can buy massagers with small, smooth heads, which slot easily into your asshole, or larger, thicker versions, similar to dildos, but which are shaped to specifically target the prostate once inside. Some come with vibes attached and also have perineum stimulators, for dual pleasure. If you’re a beginner, try a slim version, which is thin enough to slide in easily and hold onto. Once you’re familiar with how penetration feels, you can then move up to the more standard massagers and dildos.

Dual Penetrator. As you get more accustomed to anal play, mix things up a bit by using a dual penetrator. Similar to triple vibrators, these are two-pronged vibrating dildos, primarily designed to give a woman dual penetration climaxes. They come in jelly or PVC/plastic material, so they’re really pliable and flexible. For solo play, simply insert one end into your vagina, the other into your ass, and switch on the motor—you’ll be on your way to heaven in seconds. For couple’s play, let your lover take charge of it, so he can move it in and out of you while you lie back. Step things up a bit, and maybe use it on your guy’s ass while you suck him off. The vibrating motor that sits between the two penetrators will also work his taint to the edge of distraction. Acrobatic couples could master using it on both partners at once, one inside her vagina, the other in his ass. Difficult, but definitely possible.

Fingers! Not everyone feels comfortable with feeling a bare finger pushing into their ass. With toys it’s different, but feeling someone’s finger inside of you is just as intimate as feeling a cock, so you have to be comfortable. You could try getting your lover to wear a latex glove. This offers both protection from infection (from fingernails or infections passed from skin to skin), and added smoothness. Latex gloves also invite role play—the sexy doctor or nurse examining a patient. Incorporate this into your foreplay, and you’ll find it a lot easier to relax. Alternatively, try some finger vibes, to get your lover used to how fingers feel inside them. They’re finger-shaped vibrators, soft and malleable, that can be used to tease and probe the outside of your lover’s asshole and will quickly get them worked up. You can also use them on yourself, to practice what feels comfortable. Because they’re small and light, they’re the perfect toy to experiment with, if you’re new to anal play. Just play around with the outside of your asshole and, as the vibe gets to work stimulating your opening, try pushing a little further inside. But make sure your finger is secure in the finger holder and only insert it a little so that it doesn’t slip in your ass. You should still use plenty of lube, but the vibrator should really help to relax your body and make further insertion a lot easier. Great practice toys!

Educate yourself!

As a final piece of advice, the best way to become a master of anal play is not just to practice lots, but to educate yourself. Invest in a few great anal sex books and learn about new techniques, get your anal sex questions answered, and just get educated about the natural wonders of anal play. There are still so many taboos surrounding anal sex—it’s something forbidden, something mysterious and something ‘dangerous.’ But it really isn’t, on any count. Anal sex is safe, amazing, erotic, and suitable for lovers of any gender and any persuasion. Take away the mysteries of anal play, and open up a new world full of light, sexiness and erotic intensity. As I like to say often, knowledge is power, so the more you know, the more pleasures await you.


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