In a relationship, it’s not only women who like to hear that they look nice, or that they’re wanted. Whether it’s a simple compliment to kick off his day or something deeper, these affirmations will strengthen your bond.
1.”I respect you”
It might seem old-fashioned, but men and women are different. We don’t think the same, talk the same, or respond the same to similar situations. Women want to feel loved, cherished and safe. Men want respect. Since men often withdraw when they don’t feel that respect, it’s worth giving him the positivity he craves. A man wants to know that you are focusing solely on him and that he is your priority. When you do focus on him, you will get so much in return.
2. “You look handsome”
It may sound obvious, but men enjoy a good ego-stroking, especially when they’re not trying to impress. Whenever my fiancé groggily tells me I look nice in the morning, before I head out the door for work, it makes me feel unstoppable for the rest of the day,” says Charles , 30. “It’s one thing to hear it if we’re going out to a nice place, but when she tells me I look dapper when I’m on my way to the office, it gives me a renewed confidence.”
3. “Thank you”
It’s easy to overlook the small gestures, like when he swaps out his toothbrush head for yours or straightens up the apartment even if you’re not having friends over. Instead of issuing a passive aggressive, “it’s about time!” thank him.Catch him doing something right every day, whether it’s that he made your coffee just the way you like it, or holds the door for you, tell him how much you appreciate his efforts and, above all, be specific about what he did and how it made you feel. That way, he’ll know exactly what he’s done well, and he’ll do it more often.
4. “I trust you”
You’ve probably got this one covered, but communicating it is all in the timing. The best time to share your feelings with your guy is just before or during sex, At that time, levels of oxytocin, a hormone that enhances feelings of trust, love and intimacy, are elevated, making it the very best moment to love talk with your partner. It’s also the ideal time to let him know what you want from him in the relationship, as he will be the most receptive and open.
5, “I’m listening”
Men communicate differently than women, tending toward reticence when they’re upset. When this happens, don’t badger him, but do let him know that you’re there for him, and when he does begin to talk through his issues, don’t interrupt him or offer any unsolicited opinions. Let him feel safe and unjudged. Couples that really hear each other are happier in their relationships, and experience lower levels of depression and anxiety.
6. “Good morning. Let’s get frisky!”
Perhaps you shouldn’t use that quote verbatim, but let him know that if he wants to be intimate with you, he needs to set the stage in the morning. You’ve got to stroke the mind before you stroke the behind. If you want to have sex that night, foreplay begins that morning, so send him suggestive texts throughout the day. He’ll get the idea.
7. “Your friends are fun”
There are nights you’d much prefer to stay home with a movie marathon than endure hours of beer-guzzling with his friends, but these guys are a part of his past and it’s important to let him know that you love every aspect of him — even if you’re glad he’s grown up a bit since his keg-stand days. Going to his social events or family functions makes you see your boyfriend through other people’s eyes and remember why you started dating him.
8. “You make me better”
He loves you and will do anything for you, so when you find yourself trapped in a routine and feeling somewhat spark-less, the biggest compliment you can give him is a reminder that he’s improved your life. Remember this morsel from talk show host and Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man author Steve Harvey: “We men will do anything humanly possible to impress you. You’re the driving force behind why we wake up every day. We drive fancy cars because of women. We dress nice, put on cologne, get haircuts and try to look all shiny and new for you. We do all of this because the more our game is stepped up, the more of you we get.”
9. “I’m proud of you”
Men are very sensitive to performance issues. They worry about disappointing you. Telling him that he’s the best, most loving man has a megawatt positive impact. Men need reassurance that they are doing a good job. Most times when you ask a withdrawn man why he started to shut down, he says, ‘I just didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t seem to get it right, so I just gave up.’ Reassurance and validation is like an inoculation against this.”
10. “It’s not your fault”
We all have bad days, and it’s easy to take out the anger you feel towards your boss on your husband. Although you may know deep down that it’s not actually your man you’re upset with, he still might take your mean words to heart. Instead, level with him about why you’re cranky. He’ll be your best advocate.