There’s a lot more to your member than meets the eye. Apart from its pretty damn impressive ability to make other penis-toting little men, here are six crazy things you didn’t know your penis could do.
It’s a “Semen Displacement Device”
While you probably think of your dong as a device designed to inject semen, it’s also engineered to remove the semen of competitors.
You know that ridge at the base of your penis head—the raised part just north of your shaft? While you’re thrusting in and out of your partner, that ridge rakes away the semen of any foes who may have slid into home base ahead of you, researchers say.
It Can Survive Decapitation
Penectomy is a procedure that involves removing part or all of the penis. (It can be necessary if you have penis cancer.) But like the headless horseman, your dipstick doesn’t die if you cut off its head.
You can still urinate, have sex, and ejaculate even if the head has been removed, finds a study from Brazil.
It Can Predict How Your Brain Works
Men whose flaccid penises hang to the left—and that’s the majority of us—may be “left-brain dominant,” suggests research from the journal Human Reproduction.
Due to developmental hormones, left-brain dominance is also tied to right-handedness, a larger right foot than left, and other forms of body asymmetry, the study authors say.
The left brain hemisphere plays a large role in speaking, logic, and mathematical computations. The right brain is big when it comes to spatial and visual information, and pulling context out of a person’s words and tone.
So if your dick dangles to the left, that could help explain why you’re great at algebra but crappy at guessing your girlfriend’s mood.
It Can Ejaculate While Limp
While boners and ejaculation are usually a package deal, you don’t have to be hard to expel semen, shows a study from California’s Oakland Medical Center.
Your pelvic muscles contract when you blow your load. But those muscles aren’t directly tied to the processes that make your penis erect. So while unusual, you can let fly even if you’re flaccid, the study authors say.
It Can Eject Semen Up to 8 Feet
That’s according to a study conducted years ago at the University of Indiana by the famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsey. While there’s not much new data backing up that finding, one recent study from Weill Cornell Medical College found the force with which you ejaculate corresponds directly with how satisfied you feel about your orgasm.
It Smiles during Sex
A study from France looked at the shape of your penis during sex. When you and your partner are in the missionary position, your penis—including the portion of your shaft inside your body—basically forms a smile-shaped curve.
Why? Because it’s happy, of course!