I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and now we are engaged to be married. Our relationship is going well and our families support us. She is the kind of girl I have always hoped to marry but there is just one problem. She is too reserved in bed. She does not initiate sex and when we do have sex, she does not participate. Sometimes I am not even sure if she enjoys it. What can I do? I want a more exciting sex life for our marriage
Your problem is one that is quite common, especially in this part of the world where women are still taught to be conservative in their sex lives. But if you are dissatisfied with the level of intimacy with your partner, there are things you can do. The most common reason why some women are not as assertive in bed as they should be is due to lack of self confidence. She may not be very comfortable with her body and may be shy about giving too much away. One thing you can do to help is remind her, in and out of the bedroom, that you find her beautiful and sexy. Women like to hear affirming words like these from time to time and often times, men forget how important this is. Remind her how much you love her body and how much you enjoy making love to her. Then while you are doing the deed, encourage her. Tell her you like it when she moans. If she does this more, make her know it is turning you on and talk more about what else you like, just remember to go slow and give lots of encouragement. When she realizes that her actions in bed have such positive effect on you, she would get into it and get more active. Before long, she would be so comfortable that she might even suggest taking the lead from time to time.
(Send your sex/relationship questions to thefiercelane@yahoo,com)